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The party you’re planning is the celebration of a new start, and here at Distinctly Yours Wedding & Events, we not only want to help you plan the wedding of your dreams, we want to send you into the marriage you’ve always wanted as well.

It’s far too easy to get so wrapped up in wedding details that you lose sight of the lifetime you will be spending together. So, how can you plan for your special day and your marriage?

Preparing for a wedding can be a lot of work. Many hours are spent planning. Although most of your focus during your engagement is spent preparing for “the day,” I’d like to encourage you to think beyond that.

So, at a time when your head is full of seating arrangements and flowers and menus, it’s important you leave some space for life after the wedding. Here are four things we encourage you to try while planning for your big day… and happily ever after.

Engaged Couple enjoying being engaged

Talk About Your Expectations

The first step in the wedding planning process should be talking about your expectations together, not only for the day of the big event but also what you expect from each other.

Sit down and discuss what level of involvement you expect to have and how involved you’re expecting your partner to be. If you have your heart set on choosing the flowers and stationery, while your partner is more excited about planning the music and food, this is a great time to talk it through.

Whether you decide to divide up the duties or approach each one with a team effort, having a plan in place will prevent hurt feelings or arguments in the future.

Engaged Couple embracing each other

Hire a Wedding Planner

Planning a wedding can feel as if there are an endless amount of decisions to make, deadlines to attain, budgets to manage, and to-do’s to check off. This can mean the sacrifice of your precious time. So how in the world are you supposed to spend time with the one you’re about to marry, while planning the wedding? 

Hiring a wedding planner allows you to hand off those more time-consuming responsibilities to a professional. Your planner can schedule appointments, deal with vendors, and work through the nitty-gritty issues of your day. And, of course, a planner helps coordinate everything on the big day so the two of you can focus on each other, rather than any issues or last-minute details that might come up.

Engaged Couple enjoying time together and being engaged

Lean on Each Other

It’s totally normal for you to feel overwhelmed at times during the planning process. When that happens, the best thing to do is to lean on each other. Talking things out can help you see things from a different point of view.

Regardless of whether the issue is wedding related or not, working together can only help you solve a problem faster. And, learning that you can count on each other is one of the biggest perks of planning a wedding and when you are married.

Engaged Couple loving their time together

Learn to Compromise

Learning how to compromise with your future spouse will be invaluable throughout the wedding planning process and during the rest of your lives together.

When you find yourselves disagreeing about something, step back and think about how important that particular element is to you. If it’s really not that big of a deal, let it go.

On the other hand, if it’s something you have your heart set on, speak up, and let your partner know. Sit down and discuss the details you’re disagreeing on (one thing at a time) when you’re both in a rational frame of mind. Talk about it and try to find a reasonable compromise that works for both of you.

Engaged Couple showing beautiful engagement ring

Remember to Continue Dating

Although wedding planning can be fun, make sure you take time as a couple to stay connected. Plan a weekly date night that keeps your relationship a top priority. This will set precedence for prioritizing and valuing your relationship after the wedding. There will be seasons that are chaotic, and it’s essential to have laid the groundwork that ensures you will continually invest in your relationship and prepare you for your marriage ahead.

Find a Mentor Couple

Find a couple you respect and who have been married for longer than ten years, and adopt them as your mentors. Ask them to get together for dinner, drinks, or coffee so you can pick their brains for tips on how to make a marriage work.   

Don’t be afraid to ask them how they manage conflict, how they set healthy boundaries, and how they’ve stayed in love all these years. Then take notes. Learning from others who have been where you want to go will give you perspective and inspiration even on the hard days.

Consider Couples Counseling

Couples counseling gets a bad rap, but in reality, it’s not just for couples on the brink of a break up. The communication strategies and conflict resolution tips a counselor teaches you can make your marriage stronger and may even prevent you from reaching that breaking point in the future.

Engaged Couple loving their time together
Engaged Couple loving their time together
Engaged Couple loving their time together

Final Thoughts

Planning your big day can be overwhelming, but don’t let it overwhelm your relationship. Setting aside time to connect with each other and learning how to compromise will go a long way toward keeping your relationship strong. Following these pre-wedding tips will help you focus on the life and love that you’re building together.

This amazing engagement photo shoot was by Sandra Lynn Photography.  Beautiful work!!!!  

To see more of her work here.

Marsha VanArk, a professional wedding planner