Of my wedding guests, who gets to invite a guest and who doesn’t?

This is a very common wedding etiquette question with regard to your guest list. Your wedding budget and reception venue size will play a big role in how many guests you are able to accommodate.  Here are my tips in the proper way to determine who will be invited.

Plain and simple…a “plus-one” is a must for anyone who is married, engaged, or in a long-term relationship for 6 months or longer.  No exceptions there!   Where this becomes a little tricky is if a “plus-one” is for someone who is single, but won’t have any other friends attending. It is just thoughtful to add a guest for them to bring but not required.  But if someone is single and will be among friends or family, giving them a plus-one is not necessary.

I am going to go one step further to says that “plus one” is not appropriate on the invitation, and that all invitations should be issued to a specific person. For instance, if a bride would like to invite an old college friend.  Yet, you are aware that she has been dating someone and would like to have that person included.  You should call to ask for the “plus one’s” name.  You could even go another step further and send out a separate invitation to that “plus one” guest, not required.

How would you make it clear that you are not able to have any “plus one” guests?

On your RSVP card say “___ seat(s) have been reserved in your honor” and write in 1.

What should I do if someone RSVP-ed and adds in their own “plus one” guest?

First, you have to make an “across-the-board” rule and apply it equally.  That way when you do need to confront someone, it’s not personal. Call them to explain the circumstances, and let them know that your budget or reception venue space can’t accommodate their guest. Graciously apologize for the misunderstanding, and be sure to tell them that this rule applies to all guests.  Also, don’t forget to emphasize that you still hope they’ll attend solo.

Please leave a comment below.  I would love to hear from you.

If you would like to ask me a question please don’t be shy!  If you would prefer to not be named, anonymous questions are also accepted.  Though it really makes my day when you come up with something cute and clever as a sign-off!